and for just i-have-no-idea-lost-my-count freakin' times today, i tought about giving up. and why was that?
everything just seems boring lately. yeah. tell me about it. i mean, look at the news. they're talking about terrorism. criminalities. murders. corruption. and how about the gossip channel? same thing, different package. divorces. marriages. clarifying things. it's like an endless circle of boredom! geez. and honestly, those things just starts to annoys me. a lot. get a life, will ya? what's wrong with your brains anyway? can't you see the world is getting down on it? enuff with the criminalities. why can't you just sit back, and start doing useful things for humanities sake instead of planting bombs everywhere? and whats with your ego anyway? defending you country is good. holding on to what you're believing is okay. but do you really have to spread terror, killing peoples just for that? geez. sick.
am i cursed or something on love? i'm almost giving up on love. seriously. or am i just being too dramatic? blimey. i don't know what to say about this. but all i know, love is not in my dictionary anymore. definitely. i give up. no matter how hard i try, it just went wrong. even when i'm this close to have love again, it just doesn't work! all i can get is just another pain. go on, stab my heart. give me all the heartbreak. 'cause i'm heartless anyway, rite? i don't have love anymore. whatever.
i hate to keep pretending in front of everyone. i hate to pretend, everything is okay. but it's not! okay? it's just not. i don't have a normal family, and neither a normal life! i'm all fcuked up! there. happy? funny is, i could give advices, listens, encourage and telling people about how to solve their problems. but i can't solve mine. very nice.
i'm getting very sick of all the angers, hate, rumours and stuff going through my life. what? even in my own family i can't get a peaceful corner. dammit!
and i just don't know what to do now. i just so want to give up. runaway.
all i ask, all i need is just love. that's all. is it so hard to do?
where is the love?